Tag Archives: humor
After three grueling math theory posts (which I’m sure you all read very carefully and are fully prepared for next week’s pop quiz), it’s Friday and time for some fun. Here is a trio of very old jokes about the afterlife. They’re so old they may have gone around the loop to being new again, at least for anyone under the age of mumble-mumble.
As I write this post it occurs to me that I don’t hear many jokes anymore. Comedians have stand-up routines, and there are funny quotes, and lots of funny videos and gags and images… Maybe I’m just out of the loop, but it seems like people don’t tell jokes that much anymore. Pity!
I’ll have to look into that. In the meantime, enjoy (and have a great weekend):
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10 Comments | tags: engineers, funny, heaven, humor, jokes, lawyers, St. Peter | posted in From My Collection
Do you all know the little game to play with fortune cookies? After the fortune, whatever it happens to be, you add the infamous words, “…in bed.” Oddly, this seems to work with almost any fortune.
So I just opened a fortune cookie (sesame chicken…. mmmmm… I just love sesame chicken), and I really cracked up, because today’s fortune reads (this may be one of the best ones ever):
Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing…
…in bed!!
47 Comments | tags: fortune cookie, funny, humor, money | posted in Quotes
Those of us in parts of the country that experience snow and ice and sub-zero temperatures have had a very tough winter this year! As we dig ourselves out from under the covers, it’s nice to finally begin to enjoy the coming summer (despite the chilly Minnesota days this past week of May).
In an email to a friend in Southern California I was bemoaning the awful weather, and she wrote back to remind me that they have their own share of devastating weather. They, too, have suffered under the cruel lash of Mother Nature. My friend kindly sent me the photo you see here illustrating the horrific damage done to their outdoor deck due to a passing west coast storm this past month. Fortunately, once the storm passed, they were able to leave the shelter of their home and begin to set things right again.
It really makes you cherish what you have and reminds us not to take life for granted!
4 Comments | tags: awful weather, funny, humor, rain, Southern California, storms | posted in From My Collection
Of twelve. It’s hard not to notice how Christmas peeks out from under the covers earlier and earlier every year. One of my more recent seasonal traditions is noting how soon the first signs appear. The commercial opportunities of Halloween run interference in the fall; this year I found Christmas spoor on November 1st.
How Thanksgiving managed to escape heavy commercialization escapes me. Maybe people are spent out due to those two spendiest of holidays bracketing either side. Attics now store as many boxes of Halloween decorations as they do Christmas ones!
I guess the long foreplay is a good thing considering the instant exit once the deed is done.
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8 Comments | tags: Christmas, English, Halloween, holidays, humor, Thanksgiving, word play, words | posted in From My Collection, Life
“My dear Mr. Bond! You just fell for the oldest trick in the book”
So this Brain Bubble popped: Just what is the oldest trick in the book? You know how the villains always say, “Ah ha, Mr. Bond! You just fell for the oldest trick in the book!” Admittedly, your smarter, better educated villains say, “Ah ha, you just fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book,” and that lets them off the hook.
But there can be only one oldest, so just what is the oldest trick in the book? Is it the one with two porcupines, a duck’s egg and a large jar of marmalade? I know that’s a really old trick, but I’m not sure it’s the oldest. They say that prostitution is the oldest profession.. is there any connection there?
How’s that for short? All above the fold!
10 Comments | tags: Blofeld, extremely old tricks, fairly old tricks, heroes, humor, James Bond, less old tricks, Mr. Bond, old tricks, oldest trick in the book, oldest tricks, really old tricks, tricks, tricks so old they're new, villains | posted in Brain Bubble
Many offices feature “casual Friday” in acknowledgement that today our attention begins to shift towards the weekend. (When I started with TC in 1980, ties were required. When I retired this year, “business casual” was the norm. I wore jeans and polo shirts the last half-dozen years or so.)
In the same way, today the focus here shifts from the tough and chewy Sideband material to something softer and easier to digest. I have what amounts to a bit of a rant, but a mild-mannered one of minor import. It’s just one of those little things that’s annoyed me in a small way for a long time. (But it turns out that it’s one of those things that actually have good reason!)
It’S aBoUt ThIs ThInG cAlLeD cAsE-sEnSiTiViTy!
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Leave a comment | tags: A.A. Milne, alphabet, case-sensitive, characters, computer language, humor, letter case, letters, lowercase, programming languages, source code, text, UPPERCASE, Winnie the Pooh | posted in Computers, Life, Rant, The Interweb, Writing
Dateline: Monday. The little-known eclectic blogger, Wyrd Smythe, had no idea that his blogging provider, a mysterious global enterprise known as “WordPress” (a possible anagram for “Sword Reps”), had granted him extreme power over the weather. At this time, we cannot report whether this was a deliberate seasonal gift, or if the power somehow escaped the control of its owners. Neither can we report on how many this may affect.
What we do know is this: On Monday, when the unsuspecting blogger clicked the “Let It Snow” checkbox on his settings page, sure enough, a gentle snow fall began on his posts. That was the desired and expected effect. What happened next, however, was a surprise.
It also began to snow outside for the first time this season!
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15 Comments | tags: blog, blogger, blogging, drought, farmers, humor, Minnesota, mischief, rain, rain storm, snow, snow checkbox, Spiderman, Sword Reps, weather, winter, WordPress | posted in Life
Ah, it’s that time of year again, so here again is unvarnished truth about our yellow-orange friends and their lifestyle.
Sad personal fact: I’m not a fan of most vegetables. At the very bottom of that list are the squashes, including my Gourdian friend, the Pumpkin. Not a fan of cooked fruit, so pie is off my menu and never more so than “squash pie.” Revolting!!
Speaking of revolting, a good friend loves this time of year, because all the microbrewery pumpkin ales come out. Ewwww…. “squash beer!”
Halloween candy on the other hand….. 🙂
Logos con carne
Today you get a re-post of a post from last year at this time. And it was a re-post then, as well. It’s piece I wrote several years ago for a writing exercise in another venue. I thought it turned out pretty well, and I still like it after so many years, so I thought it was worth sharing again.
The original writing exercise (and it was just an exercise; there were no winners or judges) was to write a short piece from the point of view of a pumpkin. The exercise was given to us around this time—fall—just before Halloween. (It was the same guy who gave us an exercise to write a piece from the point of view of our car!)
Most writers took the tack that pumpkins suffered horribly at this time of year. Naturally, I took a different tack, and so I give you…
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1 Comment | tags: dirt, Gourdian, gourds, humor, Jack-O-Lantern, kiss a Gourdian, orange, pumpkins, re-post, vines | posted in Writing
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing: She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively, and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks, the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He said he hadn’t. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
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9 Comments | tags: batteries, humor, jokes, puns, seashore | posted in From My Collection
I’m finding it seriously difficult to spend time at the computer blogging (or doing anything else computer related). The weather has continued to be wonderful — warm but not too hot — which is bad enough. It’s that nagging feeling that I just got out of a 33-year career that had my face buried in a computer screen all day. (Well, okay, not maybe that first four years I was in the field, but once I moved to HQ and took a desk job, ever since!)
So, until it either heats up to the point of requiring air-conditioned air and closed windows, or winter comes and I have to hide from the snow and ice, I really, really feel like I’d rather spend my days goofing off. Blogging feels too much like work!
So, in the meantime, here’s another item from my collection. Men’s replies to the questions that women (constantly) ask…
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24 Comments | tags: gender, humor, men, women | posted in From My Collection
Logos con carne 