Of twelve. It’s hard not to notice how Christmas peeks out from under the covers earlier and earlier every year. One of my more recent seasonal traditions is noting how soon the first signs appear. The commercial opportunities of Halloween run interference in the fall; this year I found Christmas spoor on November 1st.
How Thanksgiving managed to escape heavy commercialization escapes me. Maybe people are spent out due to those two spendiest of holidays bracketing either side. Attics now store as many boxes of Halloween decorations as they do Christmas ones!
I guess the long foreplay is a good thing considering the instant exit once the deed is done.
I should be dismayed or disgusted or something other than numb, but the truth is I just shook my head when I saw (repeatedly, the thing I hate most about commercials: the mind-killing repetition) Kmart’s TV ads for a “Winter Sale” (because, of course, selling stuff is what TV is all about).
Those ads feature a guy taking down his Christmas lights (indicating the ad was written by an idiot, since no one takes down their lights in the dead of winter; we just don’t turn them on). The clear message (other than, “BUY! BUY! BUY!”) is that Christmas is over, it’s, like, totally so yesterday, you know?
These ads began running… wait for it… or have you already guessed… on Christmas Day!
Geeze, Louise! (And Thelma, too.)
Sometimes I feel I live in this giant insane asylum where the patients long ago overran and overcame the place. They’ve been running the joint so long everyone thinks it’s normal. I’m truly at a loss sometimes trying to understand how it manages to continue, how the sheer weight of idiocy and greed in the world doesn’t drag it to a dead halt.
But I come not to rant, but to joke (because it’s Chillaxmas, after all)!
Last year I shared a bunch of Santa and Christmas pieces I’ve been saving as “keepers” for many, many years. I thought this year I’d gift you with some wyrd play pieces.
Here’s a cute piece I picked up a bit more recently from someone known as “Pegasus” back in 2002.
Very clever bit of writing. Here’s another one that will bend your mind a little:
I wonder if you can have this much fun in other languages. As I understand it, there are Latin puns and wordplays, so perhaps they exist in all languages.
My buddy has told me of a German one: In response to the question, “Was ist los?” (How’s it going?) one replies, “Die kuh is los!” (The cow is loose!) The pun (as I understand it) depends on the the German “los” (pronounced with a long “o”) sounding like the word for “going” (los) and “loose” (lose).
Ah, the Germans and their wacky sense of humor! Such a light-hearted people. (Seriously, have you seen the German Ambassador to the UN on The Colber(t) Repor(t)? I’d love to meet the guy; he must be a hoot!)
Well, high time you got off the computer and back to Chillaxmas fun, unless, I guess, reading blogs is your idea of Chillaxmas fun. Writing them isn’t mine, so on that note I leave you with this: