Tag Archives: bread

Sliced Bread

There is a saying: “The best thing since sliced bread!” That seems a low bar, but sliced or not (and despite the danger), I’m a huge fan of bread. I always have been. Fresh out of the oven can’t be beat, but toasted takes a close second place in my book. Toasting can make mediocre bread tasty and good bread divine.

As such, my standard breakfast for decades has been two slices of toast. (With the occasional substitution of a toasted bagel.) And I’ve noticed that a loaf of sliced bread always seems to have an even number of slices — which works out perfectly for those who make sandwiches as well as for anyone like me with my two-slice breakfast.

So imagine my surprise, today, when a single slice was left!


Toast-R-Oven

Toast-R-OvenI bought a new toaster oven the other day. My old one caught fire a little bit and afterwards it didn’t make very good toast. The lower elements fried, so it only heated from above. Broiled toast is strange and sad.  I had to toast one side and then flip my bread to toast the other.

It was interesting looking over at the toaster that one morning and wondering why bright yellow, kinda flickery, light was coming out of the toaster. A dull orange glow, that’s expected, but bright yellow? What’s up with that?

Oh! Fire! Damn, my toasted is burned! Literally.

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Bread Whine

Bread is Good!It happened again last month. My heart is broken, I’ve lost my love and now I have to find a replacement. I’ve been in this position before; the “good ones” are so hard to find. And even when I do find one, the relationship never seems to last.

I will admit that my tastes have evolved over time. It used to be that simple and refined… and white, very white… was my preference.

Actually, it was all I knew. Back then, it was all white. But as I matured, my horizons expanded, and I came to prefer more complexity and a darker coloration. I rarely go with white now—only for rare occasions that insist on it. I’ve learned the beauty of going brown!

I’m talking, of course, about bread. Good bread. Great bread!

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Sideband #29: The Danger of Bread

Here’s another little favorite from my collection.

It’s a satire designed to illustrate the rather large difference between correlation and causation. But unlike the dihydrogen monoxide hoax, you’ll probably have a hard time getting many signatures on a petition to ban bread!

Still, it’s funny and it seems to make sense… because it deals strictly with facts. Again: correlation is not (necessarily) causation. Sometimes it’s not even close.

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