Cone of Social Distance

Does anyone know where I can buy a Cone of Silence?

I thought it might be a good way to safely have a friend over. (Amazon apparently doesn’t carry them.)

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

18 responses to “Cone of Social Distance

  • SelfAwarePatterns

    So, the goal is to have them over but not be able to talk with them?

    Have you considered Zoom, Google Hangout, etc?

    • Wyrd Smythe

      I’m tempted to make a comment about not having to listen to people blather on, but my friends are my friends because we enjoy each other’s minds and chatting. So, yeah, it wouldn’t work out, but it would keep us safe, too.

      We all have iPhones, so we use Apple iMessage a lot. And email. None of us are presentable enough these days for Zoom or Facetime. 😮

  • Wyrd Smythe

    Clearly I should amend the post to say a working Cone of Silence. They obviously had a defective one at CONTROL.

    Whoa! Am I ever slow. The Yin-Yang pairing of KAOS versus CONTROL never really struck me before.

    • Maggie Wilson

      HEY! Now that you mention it, I never connected those dots, either!

    • SelfAwarePatterns

      Hey, I had to look up what a Cone of Silence was. (It’s been a long time since I watched that show.)

      Can’t say I ever made the connection either.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        Well that’s three of us, so I don’t feel so bad now, thanks!

        Growing up, I was as into spies as I was into detectives. I was big on spy novels, Fleming and le Carré, for instance. Get Smart and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. were favorite shows, nearly up there with Lost in Space and Star Trek. I actually bought the Get Smart DVDs when they came out.

        That said, as with the Mary Tyler Moore Show DVDs I bought (another fond youthful memory), I never did watch all the episodes before eventually donating the DVDs to the library. It wasn’t that they’d aged so much as that I had. The shows were fairly watchable still, but I’ve kind of moved on. I found that true of other shows I’d loved growing up and was thrilled to be able to buy DVDs of… only to find out actually watching them turned out be a chore.

        Sometimes, perhaps ofttimes, nostalgia is best left unrequited. It works better as a memory.

      • SelfAwarePatterns

        Definitely my experience with childhood shows. For that matter, even shows I enjoyed decades ago as an adult are often hard to watch now. In many cases, the cultural context in which they worked has simply passed.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        I should know better; I have a whole ethic about looking forward (and around), not in the rear view mirror.

        But sometimes I find the line blurs between the stuff I discovered long ago and still love and include in my life (like Mexican food) and stuff I discovered long ago but which, while still cherished, just isn’t part of my life anymore.

        Even more confusing, there are old favorites that have proven fun to enjoy again. Life is never just one thing. Part of the Yin-Yang thing is that each contains a bit of the other. The lines are almost always fuzzy.

  • Wyrd Smythe

    Well, I just tried ordering groceries online. Less than two hours from deciding to give it a try to stepping outside to grab two paper bags with my order. Online living; wow!

    The local chain I shop at (Cub Foods; apparently in Minnesota and Illinois only) has an iPhone app for ordering, and it worked out pretty well. One replacement — Brownberry Sweet Hawaiian hamburger buns instead of their Potato buns, but that’s okay. (At first I thought they gave me the wrong Wheat Thins, but it was actually my order error. They don’t even have the family size of the flavor I wanted.)

    I even got fresh bananas. They’re very green. Next time I’ll try asking them to include a few yellow ones.

    • SelfAwarePatterns

      Nice. Walmart doesn’t have weekend deliveries. (At least not in my area.) But at least now I’m seeing available delivery slots during the week. That said, a lot of their stuff, such as toilet paper, is in-store purchase only, which is a rip. Eventually I’ll have to actually go in.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        I should see what Target and Walmart are doing in my area. There are things from both I can’t get at my Cub or at the other store. (Cub has bread, Black Forest ham, and cheeses I like. Walmart has the cheapest DMD and some other things. Target has yet other things (the bottled water I like, for one). All three are within a handful of miles of me so it was easy to make a loop and hit all three.

        I’m about down to the local liquor warehouse where I buy beer, and I think they deliver. I’m pretty sure they have curbside pickup. I’ve ordered clothes and gear from Amazon… the mountains are coming to Mohamed.

      • SelfAwarePatterns

        I’ve had a ton of stuff come in from Amazon and associated vendors. I’ve only left my neighborhood over the last month to exercise the car and pick up a prescription refill (though the Walgreen’s drive thru). I wouldn’t have thought I could go on this long without a physical run to the grocery store. But it turns out you can get a lot of stuff shipped to you.

        Eventually though, I’ll need stuff I can’t seem to get shipped, like toilet paper, or frozen dinners.

        BTW, made another pass with the clippers today. Feeling a lot better about it now. My days of going to the barber are done.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        Yeah, it’s important to exercise the car. I’ve got a 2010 Ford, and around seven years the battery started going dead in winter if it wasn’t given a good drive at least once a week. I finally put in a new battery, so now I have some leeway, but I do make a point of going for a drive once in a while.

        Welcome to the Self Cutters. 😀 I don’t know about you, but I used to spend about $30 bucks or more on a haircut, counting tip. Every two-to-four months or so (I let it grow out in the winter). I haven’t spent that money in nine years or so.

      • SelfAwarePatterns

        For several years, I was able to get haircuts for cheap (<$10) at a campus barbershop. It was also extremely convenient. I could sneak away for 15 minutes and get it taken care of. But a few years ago, the new leadership at the student union decided the barbershop no longer fit in their service vision and forced them out. Since then, I've used a shop near where I live, and the price is $20 plus tip. That, and there's usually a wait.

        In my case, with much of my hair gone, if I let what's left get too long, it's not a good look. So I rarely go more than a month without getting it cut. So, this move looks set to save a lot of money (the clippers were only $50) and time.

        It was actually a change I'd been thinking about. The lockdown just pushed it over the edge.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        What happened with your campus shop sounds similar to what happened to me with the haircutters who used to have a shop in our corporate HQ. It was nice. I could call them for an appointment and then just walk over when it was time. No waiting. They got shoved out, and I had to make a change. Thinking back, I did use Cost Cutters and places like that for a very brief time, but it was a different person each time, there was a wait, etc, so I tried clippers and never looked back.

  • Anonymole

    I wonder if while in Confessional, folks thought they could take off their masks.
    “God will protect us while we’re here, right?”
    “It’s a wicker screen. Put your damn mask back on. Say 5000 Hail Harries, and flagellate yourself with six bundles of scallions.”

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