The Penis Election

pumpkin-vomitWhat a sad and pathetic group of ape-descendants we turned out to be. After the Dark Ages, the human race had high and lofty aspirations. We saw ourselves so vastly evolved from our animal origins. We had the power of nuanced communicative language, of higher thought and rationality, of powerful evocative art, music, and literature.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the human experiment is a fail. The answer to the Fermi Paradox is that “intelligent” species actually aren’t intelligent enough. All our technical toys turn out to be exactly like giving an ape dynamite and a lighter.

And after several thousand years thinking we’re better than animals, we prove we’re not by making this election cycle about penises.

Early on it was about the GOP nominee’s supposedly small one and his overbearing over-compensation for it. Trump Tower, plated in “gold”… ha!

It’s also about the fact that the Democratic Party’s nominee has the unmitigated gall and astonishing temerity to not have one. (How dare she!)

And now the whole thing is kicked into a cocked hat (pardon the expression) because of sleazeball Anthony’s weiner. Plus some astonishing malfeasance and incompetence on the part of the FBI.

We’re way past being “down the rabbit hole” — we’re in Hell.

The question some of us are asking is:


How is this even possible?

What the fuck is going on?!

A while back I wrote a post about how Hillary Clinton was fortunate to be running against the Pumpkin Goblin because, with her flaws as a candidate, she would be struggling against a stronger GOP nominee.

Ironically, the reverse is also true. The only reason the Goblin is so successful is because of Clinton’s campaign weaknesses and flaws. (But make no mistake: I think she’d be one of the most prepared, most experienced, strongest Presidents we’ve had.)

Can you imagine if he were running against a Biden/Warren ticket?


Quite some time ago I read an article about a study that seemed to correlate one’s innate sense of disgust with how conservative they are.

I thought then, and still do, that it makes a lot of sense. And if you think about what really underlies misogyny and racism, I wonder if disgust with those who seem far outside your perceived tribe don’t play some role.

Not that there should be a necessary connection between conservatives and bigots of any stripe, but the correlation does seem to exist these days. And, of course, there are plenty of liberal bigots (Bill Maher, for instance, in my mind, for all his burning disgust with all things religious).

Last December, an article in New Republic (Donald Trump and the Politics of Disgust, Alexander Hurst, December 31) seeks to connect those dots. The writer concludes:

When it comes to Mexicans, Muslims, and women, Trump and his supporters might be literally disgusted. “So long as he does it right,” says Pizarro, “he is tagging that emotion to other people.” The risk for Trump is that emotions go both ways. By voicing so much disgust, he might very well find that, to other voters, he has become an object of disgust himself.

And the Pumpkin Goblin is known as a germaphobe who hates shaking hands, won’t press elevator buttons, and pre-tests his dates for AIDS.


In an article today, also in New Republic (Donald Trump’s Raw Emotion, McKenna Stayner, November 2), connects those dots once again:

Yet the reason that Trump should be considered as fundamentally an emotional phenomenon is not because of the different reactions that he inspires but because he doesn’t distinguish between different emotions at all.

I honestly believe The Goblin is a psychopath, that he has no genuine connection with the emotions of others at all. But like most psychopaths, he has a knack for using and manipulating them.

In his stunning ignorance, appalling stupidity, and probable psychopathy, many of us are horrified and terrified by this monster and can’t understand why the rest of you don’t get it.

This shouldn’t be a close race. Not at all.


Part of the problem is the goddamned interweb. As with the Enlightenment, as with the printing press, as with so many inventions of technology, it was supposed to be a tool to help usher in the golden age.

It’s turning out to be one of the biggest mistakes we ever made. We technocrats should never have let the rest of you in. You clearly don’t deserve it and don’t know how to use it properly.

An article in the New York Times today (How the Internet Is Loosening Our Grip on the Truth, Farhad Manjoo, November 2) speaks to the promise versus the actuality of the interweb:

For years, technologists and other utopians have argued that online news would be a boon to democracy. That has not been the case.

The interweb has the potential to be a source of facts and truth (and rational discussion), but instead:

There are now entire sites whose only mission is to publish outrageous, completely fake news online (like real news, fake news has become a business). Partisan Facebook pages have gotten into the act; a recent BuzzFeed analysis of top political pages on Facebook showed that right-wing sites published false or misleading information 38 percent of the time, and lefty sites did so 20 percent of the time.

I just wish — dearly, dearly wish — that, as with most extremely powerful tools, misuse tended to be fatal to the misuser. Like chainsaws. Or Teslas.

Yeah, that’s hateful, but anger (no, rage) and hate is about all I can feel for most people these days. Or utter despair at having to live among the apes. (And, in fact, real, actual apes would be far more decent and enjoyable. Saying humans “act like animals” is fairly insulting to animals.)

I have never hated the human race more.

And that is making me “sick at heart.”

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

2 responses to “The Penis Election

  • Chuck Sturm

    It sounds to me that Weird Smythe is a yuppie-type liberal elitist who has no connection to the working class. The issue he evades is the known character of the Democratic candidate and her history of lying cheating and stealing vs the known character of the Rep. candidate and his accomplishments vs hers.

    • Wyrd Smythe

      And it sounds to me that Chuck Sturm is a clueless asshole with no idea what he’s talking about. See? I can play that game, too, because it’s easy and takes no effort. Children do it all the time.

      So let’s be adults try applying a little thought…

      First of all, I’ve been a poor working class stiff all my life. My history and background are apparent to anyone who bothers to read my blog. But this business of slamming personality is a Trump move. That is to say, a dick move. So let’s try looking at the issues.

      Is Hillary Clinton a perfect person? Nope, not even close. I voted against her in the Primaries because of her history. I would prefer a better candidate (like Joe Biden… had he run this wouldn’t be a contest).

      But here’s the thing: Regardless of her character, she’s done a huge amount of good work in the world. Any honest look at her record shows a long list of good accomplishments. And, let’s face it, it’s hard to accomplish anything politically in this world without getting a bit dirty. She gets things done, which is hard, and she gets good things done, which is even harder.

      Trump, on the other hand, is an unrepentant liar and utterly clueless about social and political issues. He is a racist and a misogynist. THAT is his, as you say, known character. And any honest appraisal of his accomplishments pales in comparison to Clinton’s.

      Compare the work the Clinton Foundation has accomplished to the fraud of the Trump Foundation, for instance. Or consider his many business fails. Trump airlines, steaks, wines, and the utter fraud behind Trump University.

      The bottom line is that, to any honest reading of the two, there is no contest. Hillary Clinton may be far from the ideal candidate, but Trump is light years further away. I can readily admit to my candidates flaws. Can you admit to yours?

      Not that any of this will have any impact on you, I’m sure. It’s all, as they say, baked in.

      Any further comments from you will be deleted unless you can act like an adult.

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