Movies: Man of Steel

I thought Zack Snyder blew the doors off Watchmen. The movie does total justice to a classic graphic novel that I would have thought impossible to put on film. It turned out to be a work that doesn’t just honor the source material, it elevates it. I liked his version of 300 okay, and I thought Sucker Punch interesting (although it’s a rather strange movie).

Plus, I have a high regard for Christopher Nolan. I very much enjoyed Memento, Insomnia, The Prestige, Inception and the first two Batman movies (as I’ve written before, I thought much less of the third one).

Snyder at the helm, Nolan as a producer and writer,… I was really looking forward to Man of Steel.

Chris Reeve: Still the best movie Superman by far.

I haven’t been so disappointed in a movie since… well, since the last Batman movie.

It started in 1978. The first real superhero movie, Superman with Christopher Reeve and a great supporting cast: Gene Hackman, Marlon Brando, Valerie Perrine, Ned Betty, Margot Kidder; even Terrence Stamp and Glenn Ford.

Richard Donner (of Lethal Weapon fame) directed a film that broke new special effects ground and garnered three Academy Awards nominations. It was a financial success, too; the opening box office returns were nearly six times what it cost to make!

That film, widely regarded as one of the top films of 1978, is still loved and cherished. The story is not without flaws (the ending: the time reversal and the ‘Kiss of Forgetting’ were pretty silly), but it was still engaging and thematic. That first series of Superman films went a little bit downhill from there, but still remain oddly watchable (if a little goofy at times).

Lex Luther… NOT!

Then, in 2006, came Superman Returns, a flat, lifeless, colorless, utterly forgettable movie. I love Kevin Spacey, but I thought he made an awful Lex Luther (worst Lex, ever). I think there may be a lesson here: Superman is actually a bit preposterous, so the films need to not take themselves too seriously. One thing that distinguishes the first films is how light-hearted they are.

Now there’s a third version of the Superman film canon, and for my money, it’s the worst of the lot. It’s a cliché-ridden, hackneyed story that panders to the modern desire for mindless action, CGI eye-candy and very little else. It appears to want to recycle bits of previous films (General Zod, Jor-El’s message to his son), but the movie to me is without charm or intelligence or depth or texture.

And to be honest, in my book, any movie with Russell Crowe automatically takes itself a little too seriously.

To me, the film reflects the childishness, thuggishness, ugliness and general mindlessness of the modern era. I became thoroughly disenchanted 10 minutes into the film (I found the entire Krypton sequence pointless and not a little absurd). Watching the whole damn movie was a chore I’ll not repeat.  (I’m so sorry I actually bought the DVD, but I really did think it would be a much better film.)

The new angst: all primary characters shall have a ‘killed while they watch‘ or (bonus) ‘murdered in mysterious circumstances‘ parent.

Think about some of our first impressions of adult Clark: he steals clothes (never compensates for them), and he’s a vandal (trashing that obnoxious guy’s truck at the cafe). He lets his dad just die in a tornado. (In any proper Superman adventure, Clark would have found a way.) At the end of the film he destroys a 12-million dollar drone just to make a point.  Is that the Superman you grew up with?  It sure as hell ain’t the one I grew up with.

[Had I shot that final scene, I would have had Supes floating upright holding the disabled drone (or maybe have it lying across the road) waiting for that military dude. Maybe even a little heat vision to explode a trench across the road as they drove up.]

Outside the mindless action scenes, the story is absurd and clichéd. It’s the usual visceral, emotional approach to life that permeates modern entertainment; this absurd idea that the “gut” is more important than the mind. (That your emotions serve more than your intelligence. To me, that’s animals, not humans.)

Sullen, emotional, picked on kid,.. but big fan of Plato…

Consider the clichés. Clark the picked on kid with the secret powers (but apparently no wit to use them in any productive fashion; canonically, I recall Clark did okay in high school). The scene with the three bullies picking on poor little Clark, who clutches to his chest a book, titled “Plato.” But do we ever see any sign that Clark has any sense of philosophy? Do we ever see any sign of a real education? Do we ever see how his parents might have nurtured his growth (other than vague clichéd scenes)?

Nope. Just an endless series of empty clichés. And endless brutality. Sign of the times, I guess. No intelligence, no smarts, but plenty of fisticuffs, plenty of smashed buildings and cars, tons of explosions.

That’s one of the things that bugged me about the last Batman movie. Batman, the advanced martial arts fighter with a belt-full of gadgets, but when it comes to Bane, it’s just a stupid, moronic, pointless, empty, dumbass fist fight.

Heavy-handed symbolism? What heavy-handed symbolism?? I don’t see any heavy-handed symbolism!

Among all the violence of Superman’s battles, do we ever see him use any of his other powers? A bit of heat vision on Zod’s ship seemed about it. Part of the fun of Superman stories is seeing how he uses his powers to solve problems (his super speed, his super breath, his x-ray vision). The real Superman is clever.

And what’s the deal with Jor-El’s ghost… who appears quite familiar with “Miss Lane.” Krypton technology may be awesome, but they clearly play it as if Jor-El were somehow actually there (listen to his dialog and think about the context implied by his words, he’s clearly processing current information, and emotional to boot).

And what’s he doing implanted in a spaceship that’s been embedded in the ice for 20,000 years?  How did he get there? Did that whole sequence (alien spaceship) really have any value in the film? Wouldn’t Jor-El have been in the craft that brought Clark here, not in a ship buried for 20,000 years?

Maybe he’s pretending he’s some Count or Duke?

That flashback showing young Clark running around in a red cape. (Just one of many WTF moments in the film.) Why do kids run around wearing a red cape?  Think it might be because Superman has been part of the public consciousness since 19-friggin’-33?  Think it might be because Superman is one of the most recognized icons in the world?

So what was little Clark Kent doing running around playing Superman?

Why would Lois Lane be in so much trouble with her editor for giving a story her paper didn’t want to print to a blogger? Plus: as much as I adore Amy Adams, when did Lois become a ginger? Everyone knows Lois Lane has black hair (Lana Lang, different story). Yes, it’s a very trivial point (perhaps more important to me, since I prefer black or brown hair), but the canon should be respected, I feel. Would we make Supes’ suit green?

As near as I can figure it, most movies and TV shows these days consist of 12-year-old kids running around in the bodies of adults. It’s all about gut feelings and brute force and unchecked desire and conflict and anger topped off with mass destruction CGI. And explosions. Always explosions.

I. Am. So. Fucking. Sick. Of. That. Childish. Bull. Shit.

Charisma and personality: check. Fun: check. Engaging: check. Best Superman movie so far: double-double-check!

Basically, what I found was a movie filled with way too many things to dislike and nothing at all to really like. I lost interest in city-destroying CGI and massive explosions ages ago. All I see is billions of dollars in property damage and considerable loss of life… all for my “entertainment”? Really boring, and yet also revolting.

Maybe it’s that lately I’ve been exploring various TV shows I’ve heard of but never watched. And all I seem to find is the same brutality, childish behavior and stunning mindlessness that seems to be what passes for exciting entertainment these days.

I just can’t believe people watch this stuff and call it good.