BB #21 – Days Daze

holidazeI was reading the fan and detractor blog posts about infamous Valentine’s Day. It strikes me that being against it still acknowledges it. I suppose if one wanted to abolish it, that would be reason for protest. (Maybe they regret the killing of all those roses!)

I’m inclined to let the romantics have their harmless fun. No skin off my nose. Oktoberfest for lovers (with chocolate rather than beer—a nearly acceptable tradeoff)!

There are those who say it’s silly to have this one day a year where we observe and honor love (and murder roses). We should observe Valentine’s day all the time.

I’ve decided to take to heart that idea.

trees and candyThe thing is, last Christmas I took to heart the idea that we should observe (or preferably “keep”) Christmas every day. I thought that was a good idea, so I’ve been doing that. I am spending a lot of money on presents and pine trees these days, and now I’ll have to budget for chocolate and roses!

I think it’ll work out. I’m getting the hang of getting up every morning to get a turkey started so I can observe Thanksgiving every day. Easter is coming up, and that might be another one to start observing every day. I really do like jelly beans (and stale Peeps).

I should probably add Memorial Day and Labor Day. The latter mostly involves wearing white pants, so that should be easy. Memorial Day is already kind of included in my celebrating July 4th every day. The neighbors don’t mind the flags, but I have gotten a few complaints about the daily fireworks. They never were happy with the combined Nativity/Halloween scene.

waitronAnd of course, Mother’s Day, Father’s day and Secretary’s Day really should be observed all the time. Is there a Food Waitron’s Day! (If not, there oughta be!) Maybe we just need a Under-Appreciated, Under-Paid, Desperately-Important Person’s Day.

This is all starting to add up to a lot of days! And while—being hugely flawed—I don’t pull this off nearly as well, or often, as I ought, my candidate holiday that should be celebrated every day is Try Not To Be A Dick Day.

I’ve always believed one measure of the character of a person is in how they treat those that don’t matter to them. Of course we treat those that do matter to us well (that is, most of us manage to pull that off). It’s those completely outside our circle that really test our character.

There’s a fairly obscure (straight to DVD) romcom, Watching The Detectives, starring Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu. It has a scene that really stuck with me and highlights this character business.

Watching DetectivesNeil (Cillian Murphy)  has a less than ideal relationship with his girlfriend, Denise (Heather Burns). As a test of her fundamental character, one day he pays a waiter to “accidentally” spill water on her while she sits waiting for him. Denise completely overreacts, and Neil immediately breaks up with her.

And while playing practical jokes with spilled water is one discussion, there is another discussion about how we treat those waiters and service people we encounter daily, but may only meet once.  I have never understood how some people seem to think there is a sort of emotional open season for such people.

I have been on dates where I’ve been appalled at how my date has spoken to a waiter. It also seems very, very foolish.  I imagine people who do that eat an awful lot of waiter spit (or worse).  [They’ve apparently never seen the movie, Waiting!]

WaitingIs it, in part, due to the interweb age? Have we become so used to being anonymous assholes online that it spills over into our daily lives?  Is it all those snappy insults we hear constantly on TV (and have for decades)? Has our entertainment trained us to act like dicks?  I suspect both of those things play a role. I’m long past believing that what we watch, and the video games we play, don’t matter.

Bottom line, here, why show the world you’re a character with no character? Your true self is revealed in the interactions you think of as not mattering. This is where the concept of “best behavior” kicks in.

Why be the one everyone else is looking at thinking, “Gee, what a dick!”

(And point of order: “Dick” here is shorthand for “asshole,” so ladies, you are not off the hook on this one. (See above point about some women I’ve dated… Once.))

((Bonus points if you can name the movie that last bit references.))

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

26 responses to “BB #21 – Days Daze

  • Alex Autin

    This is hilarious! I’m never rude to wait staff. This is less so because I’m not a ‘dick’, and more so because I’ve waited enough tables to know what goes on in kitchens. So, purely a matter of self-interest. I’m also very accommodating to flight attendants, again not because I’m not ‘dickish’, but because these people may be needed to, you know, save my life.

    I would write a longer comment but I’ve a jack-o-lantern to carve and a Cinco de Mayo pinata to stuff, and all before midnight when I have to pop open a bottle of champagne then run out to catch those Black Friday sales!

    • Wyrd Smythe

      Absolutely, anyone who’s actually waited, or who has friends who waited, knows better than to piss off someone who is bringing you food. (One would think pure logic would suffice.) But, of course, it’s the being a kind, good, non-dickish person that’s really at the core of it, not self-interest. Or even Golden Rule; treat others as you would have them treat you (although that may create a puzzle for masochists).

      Cinco de Mayo!! How could I forget that!! Margaritas every day!! (Rocks, no salt, please.)

  • reocochran

    O.K. I love to celebrate holidays but never seem to meet a man who does so much to show his interest in them as YOU! Well, make sure you celebrated Fat Tuesday with pancakes…hmm and how does how your dates treat wait staff relate to this theme? You are quite a character!

    • Wyrd Smythe

      This holiday business really requires a lot of food! Okay, so pancakes for breakfast added to the menu? (Can it be waffles once in a while? I really do love waffles.) How my dates treat wait staff (and others) relates to their character, and I won’t break bread with those lacking character. (Which is why I keep declining to join management for lunch at work.)

  • dianasschwenk

    We should treat everyone well – I agree!

  • WordsFallFromMyEyes

    “the fan and detractor blogs” – liked how you worded that.

    Every year the V Day brings posts and opinions. I like the ‘Single Awareness Day’ counteraction. It’s all just a bit funny.

    “waiter spit”! You have me laughing in parts. I enjoyed this post very much! Thank you 🙂

  • criticalreviewer

    Great entry! We do need to treat people well and those “unimportant” interactions truly speak to our character!

  • heysugarsugar

    hey babe 🙂 you made me chuckle..hope I’m not a dick and your definitely not a dick but most of the customers in my Tearoom and Bistro are huge bloody dicks ! hugs xx

    • Wyrd Smythe

      Oh, no, sugar, you’re one of the Good Ones! (Customer, somehow, often seem to fall into the dick category… must be all that entitlement floating around these days.)

      • heysugarsugar

        I love the way you say it as it is 🙂 I wrote something about you today, so that proves your not s Dick:D x

      • Wyrd Smythe

        Thank you, Sugar, you’re a rare one (which is how I like my steaks and my friends).

        I was waiting to drop by to congratulate you on your one-year anniversary until I had more time (and now I have). You deserve more than a quick drive-by comment, especially on your anniversary!

      • heysugarsugar

        Aww babe, you are the best. I value your friendship more than you know. Funny how we found each other on the WordPress Avenue..some neighbours don’t speak, some the odd nod, others talk shit and others like you appeal to my wacky fun side and the great thing is you don’t think I’m stark raving mad ! 🙂 so next time I am tending my WordPress garden and tending to my flower boarders, I will peep out and wave to you down the road and do as you suggest and write something to make the other neighbours blush ! 😉 now your readers think I’m insane ! Lol btw I typed this on my phone, be impressed ! X

      • Wyrd Smythe

        That’s kind of the beauty of the internet. With a whole world to search, you’re bound to find kindred spirits no matter how far off the radar one likes to fly. Not only do I not think you’re mad (unless we mean “mad fun”), but from where I sit, you seem like just plain folks!

        Let’s put some neon-pink statues of naked people on the front lawn and really get the neighbors talking! They may talk crap, but in their hearts they’re just jealous.

        Looking forward to your posts, and kudos on the phone typing! 😀

  • indiafea

    Ha! Johnny Dangerously? 😀 Found your blog through a blog on a blog. Glad I landed here!

    • Wyrd Smythe

      Bravo, exactly right! (Everyone, critics and fans alike, seems to hate Johnny Dangerously, but I love it!)

      Welcome, and thanks for dropping by!

      • indiafea

        “Bastages” is still part of my vernacular. 😀

      • Wyrd Smythe

        Yes! And “ice holes” and “coke suckers!”

        And I just love the Canis Latinicus by the “priest” in the jailbreak scene:

        Dominus vobiscum nabisco. Espiritu sanctum. De gustibus. Me gustibus. You gustibus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus. When’s the next bus? Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio’s too laude. Adeste fidelis. Centra fidelis. High fidelis. Post meridian. Ante meridian. Uncle meridian. All of the little meridians. Magna carta. Master charga. Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis.

        I cannot understand why people hate that movie! It’s really nice to meet another fan!!

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