My work project is entering the final stretch, so long days and no blogging to speak of. But this morning, eating toast induced a Brain Bubble I thought worth recording, so here I am for a drive-by quickie, a blogging booty call.
You know how people like to say (usually in that annoying sing-song voice), “When you ‘assume’ you make an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me’.” This is often in retaliation for someone having assumed something someone else found unwarranted.
To those people I’d just like to say, “Huh?”
It’s quite possible ‘U’ve made an ass of yourself by making some unwarranted assumption.
(Everyone knows about your tendency to fly off the handle.) But leave ‘me’ out of it, okay? Me had nothing to do with it.
As is true in life, so it is true with assumptions: one ass per. And that would be ‘U’.
And while we’re on the subject of the letter ‘U’ and its identity crisis with ‘you’, I have another bone to pick. It involves any joke where the punchline is, “F.U.”
I believe the canonical version is from the Neil Simon play, The Odd Couple. Oscar Madison (the slob sportscaster) finds a note left on his pillow by Felix Ungar (the overly neat, fussy news writer). If memory serves, the line is, “We’re out of corn flakes. F.U.”
The audience always cracks up. Everyone gets the joke.
But what has always bothered me is that the ‘F’ is an initial, but the ‘U’ is a homophone.
The joke that they stand for both ‘Felix Ungar’ and ‘fuck you’ is slightly spoiled for me due to the mismatch.
(It helps that ‘F’ (‘eff’) is a frequent replacement for ‘fuck’ among people who are not comfortable with the actual word but are angry enough to want to express the idea behind it. ‘F.U.’ has long been an exclamation that stood in for its cruder cousin.)
If his name had been Felix Yastrzemski, the initials would have been logically correct. The problem is that it ruins the gag. “We’re out of corn flakes. F.Y.” doesn’t work.
It’s not funny at all.
It’s a weird thing that the joke has to be slightly broken for it to work at all.
There’s probably a metaphor for life there.
Some things just don’t work when they’re logically correct — you need to get off the main path a little.
Sometimes only jazz riffs on life do the trick!
Logos con carne 
April 26th, 2013 at 8:29 am
I have never even considered the FU vs. FY thing! What’s in that toast you’re eating?!
Thanks for my Friday chuckle. 🙂
April 26th, 2013 at 8:30 am
I want on my toast what he’s having 😉
April 26th, 2013 at 8:37 am
{insert sound track from When Harry met Sally}! hahaha
April 26th, 2013 at 8:39 am
Lmao 😀 now he will be loving the girlie attention and waving his toast around 🙂 oh bless him x
April 26th, 2013 at 8:40 am
haha – Happy Friday to both of you!
April 26th, 2013 at 8:45 am
And to you also 🙂 our poor lad will see this and tell me I’m causing trouble again ! Lolol he loves his followers really 😀
April 26th, 2013 at 9:10 am
Thanks my dear! It’s good to stir up the waters every now and then…but if you’re comfortable with taking the TOTAL blame…well who am I to argue hehehe
April 26th, 2013 at 9:16 am
Oh he’s scary when he tells me off 😀 I now await his tut tutting :D:D
April 26th, 2013 at 9:31 am
Happy Fried-Egg, LD! It’s not what’s on the toast so much as what goes with the toast. Of course, I mean silent reflective meditation on the transcendental mysteries of the universe, infinity and human nature. And orange juice.
April 26th, 2013 at 9:42 am
Ahh-h I’m always learning something here!
April 26th, 2013 at 9:35 am
Two lovely ladies talking about me? Definitely not cause for any tut, tutting! … But maybe tubbing! Let me see if I can find a large tub I could fill with jello or mud or something…. 😈 😯 😆
April 26th, 2013 at 9:43 am
LOL – it’s good to have goals!
April 26th, 2013 at 10:37 am
A guy can always dream! 😀
April 26th, 2013 at 10:49 am
There you are! 😀 a tub of jello or mud? What happened to the sticky honey we used last time? 😛 hey you have not told me off yet..I must improving ! Lol hope we made your Friday a smily Friday 🙂
April 27th, 2013 at 9:56 am
Ah, Sugar, the whole point of that was that honey was a Bad Idea! One doesn’t want to use honey, even if sounds like a Good Idea at the time. 😕
April 27th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
ohhhh and I was so looking forward to it too ! and I thought you loved me 😦 ….lololol
April 28th, 2013 at 8:52 am
As I recall, the whole thing started because you said you didn’t like honey! I never did find out why, but I replied that I liked it quite a lot (me and Pooh!), although it wasn’t ideal for all occasions.
April 28th, 2013 at 11:27 am
so are you saying you love honey and pooh more than me?!
April 29th, 2013 at 11:03 am
There’s a list of three things that are too different to be compared with each other! (And let’s be sure to distinguish between Pooh and pooh!! Huuuuuuge difference!)
April 26th, 2013 at 8:29 am
Aww you do brighten my blogging day 😀 hey my lovely, it’s your faithful Sugar wandering in to wave and say …lovely to see you and btw..I ate peanut butter on toast this morning and had a blogging brainwave but now I gone off the idea! Just saying 😀 😀 oh and ole Sugar has no trouble saying fuck…I can’t be arsed with shortening things, I’m too black and whatever that…oh and another thing, I hate it when people text and say ‘u’ not ‘ you’ ….hey ho 😉 xxx
April 26th, 2013 at 9:36 am
I’m with you! I just hate it when people text!! 😕
April 29th, 2013 at 11:10 am
That’s it I’m off to sulk in the corner…you don’t love me anymore 😛
April 29th, 2013 at 1:58 pm
What I don’t love is “do you love me” questions; they don’t evoke good feelings. They’re ambushes—bandits lurking in them there hills, and I’m smart enough to go around that valley and evade them!!
April 29th, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Ok your moody…what is up my friend ? Go private….x
April 30th, 2013 at 8:08 am
No….. not moody (no more so than normal, anyway!) and nothing is up (at least nothing new that I haven’t been writing about for months). There has been a sea change of late regarding my presence here… more bluntness and honesty… more myselfness. And the truth is, I’m not really big on lots of idle banter. A bit with people you know well is fun, but it’s a dash of spice in relationships otherwise based on substance. Without the substance, it doesn’t hold my interest. In the end, I’m all about ideas and minds, and that’s where I want to focus my energy these days.
April 30th, 2013 at 8:50 am
Okkkkkkkk well that’s telling me then….I apologise
April 30th, 2013 at 10:14 am
There’s no call for apologies; I’m not trying to tell anyone off here. I’m just being myself. (And, as it seems to do every time, when I do it invariably turns into a thing and someone gets offended. [sigh] This is why I should just keep my mouth shut and never talk to anyone.)
April 30th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Oh behave you grumpy ole thing….I’m not offended I’m used to you 😉 it takes more than that to scare me off you know that 😉 ….anyway as your faithful follower I just smile and think that’s mah boy 😉
April 30th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
Oy, I’ve earned my grumpiness! It’s one of the few things that’s truly mine! 🙂
April 30th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
Lmao 😉 😀
May 4th, 2013 at 3:19 pm
I just finished reading Volume 1 of Neil Simon’s plays, including The Odd Couple. Your post is one of the few places where the name Ungar is spelled correctly. Not that I’m surprised.
May 4th, 2013 at 3:34 pm
[blush] Well, it was Unger in the TV show, so maybe that’s why they’re confused. Back in the 70s/80s—my “theatre phase”—Neil Simon was big, so I saw a lot of stagings. And we did a lot of scenes in acting class!
May 8th, 2013 at 3:38 pm
That bubble formed due the soap in your head, that must be one hell of a brand. F.
May 8th, 2013 at 3:59 pm
There’s soap in my head? Eww…. Get it out, get it out! Who wants clean thoughts?!?!
May 8th, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Don’t worry, it’s obviously fighting quite hard to escape.
May 9th, 2013 at 7:51 am
True dat! Cleaning agents don’t stand a chance in my mind!
May 11th, 2013 at 1:32 am
From now on, I’ll say FY should the need ever arise, haha! 😀 I’ve always had a problem with the “assume” thing, though… it’s catchy, but plain ‘ol wrong. Nobody but me makes an ass out of me. 🙂
May 11th, 2013 at 10:58 am
I know, right? Catchy, makes a point with which I agree, but the logic is—as you say—dead wrong!
Telling someone “FY” will likely confuse them (which may make for a great effect)! They may think you’re trying to give them information or something.