Raisin Cain

raisin outrage 1You know the story about that nice family of bears whose home is invaded, robbed and vandalized by some pre-teen female hoodlum? I have a vague feeling of how that poor Ursine family must have felt when they discovered their food missing.

Indeed, we all must identify with the bears these days. There is a huge Goldilocks in our midst, and she’s been nibbling away at everything! We’ve all seen the candy bars get smaller while the price gets higher. And that space-reducing dome at the bottom of most plastic containers gets bigger and bigger. Consumers purchase ever-increasing amounts of air these days.

This is brought home to me full force every time I open a container of raisins.

I swear these are untouched photos of the last container of raisins I opened immediately after opening them. Not a raisin has been disturbed, let alone eaten.

raisin outrage 2

Goldilocks was here!

At least not by me. I can’t be sure about any lurking Goldilocks types along the way. If they do so lurk, they seem to be nibbling a very consistent amount every time.

“Some settling may occur during shipping.”

Actually, that particular warning isn’t on my raisins. I am warned about the possibility of a grape stem. Or wood. (Wood? A bit of trellis, perhaps. Just adds to the fiber content.)

Air is not listed as an ingredient.

I should, perhaps, point out that I’m not really ranting. This is tongue in cheek driven by the sight of so much air in the raisin container. (It was one of those, “This is a blog post!” moments.)

I love raisins; they are my favorite fruit (with grapes a close second). [I beg forgiveness for what I’m about to say.] They are, in fact, the only fruit I go bananas over. (I like bananas a lot, too, and they go great with raisins.)

Goldilocks ate half my cookies!

Goldilocks ate half my cookies!

[Remind me to tell you the “raisin fritter” pancake story some time. It’s another one of the early camping stories (like “blast damage” and “killin’ stick”) that became legend.]

I understand the whole cost equation thing and the seasonal difficulties with produce, so I’m not seriously complaining. It’s really pretty astonishing I can have tasty raisins year round; modern society has its benefits.  But one does need to point these things out from time to time. If you don’t, you end up with naked emperors parading around, and considering their general diet and lack of exercise, no one wants to see that.

Inserting tongue even deeper into cheek (alas, only mine own), I found it very amusing when I pulled my container of ginger cookies out of the shopping bag yesterday, and it looked like Goldilocks must have been hiding in my back seat.

ginger cookies 2

“As seen on TV”

Of course, in the store they looked like the photo on the right. Usually they pack them in the container half this size. They must have been out of those containers.

Still, pretty funny. “Hey, where’s the other half of my cookies??”

That was some serious settling during shipping!

And here again, no serious rant intended. I’m addicted to these cookies, and the only rant I have is that I (almost, sort of, in a way) wish they didn’t make them.  I can’t resist a good ginger cookie, and these are way up the scale. Cookie like fresh ginger-bread? Check. Good substantial ice frosting? Check. Made fresh in the grocery store bakery every Monday? Sold!

And because they’re apparently hand-made (for some store-bought definition of “hand-made”), they’re a little different every time (which I love). Sometimes  there’s not much cookie, but a ton of frosting. This time (as you can maybe tell), the frosting isn’t thick (cookie visible beneath). Unfortunately these cookies weren’t very large, so they really rattled around inside that giant container.

But you have to love the individual nature of the whole thing. Variety and surprise make life so much more interesting.

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

15 responses to “Raisin Cain

  • Wyrd Smythe

    For those who like numbers, I’m told this was my post #222!

  • minisculegiants

    This post made me smile! And it made me hungry for gingerbread. 🙂

  • marymtf

    Chip packets are all puffed up with air, booze has gone from 750 mls to 700 mls but the price has increased. Goes to show where my priorities lie. 🙂

  • Snoring Dog Studio

    Love iced ginger cookies! But leave the raisins out. I like soft raisins in oatmeal, not the hard, dried ones. Ginger cookies are about the only store bought cookie I’d buy.

    • Wyrd Smythe

      I do love raisins, and I do love (way too much) ginger cookies, but I wouldn’t dream of combining them! I’m not even sure iced-raisins sounds good. And I agree pretty much on the dried out raisins; they’ll do in a pinch, but I like both the oatmeal cookie and the raisins to be fresh and chewy. (I like my O/R cookies heavy on the brown sugar and light on the wheat flour.) I never buy the mass-packaged cookies (there was a brand that wasn’t too back… Archer? Archway? A-something), but the ones the grocery store bakery makes are quite tasty.

  • bronxboy55

    I had this conversation with my wife just the other day. We bought a bag of pretzels that wasn’t even half full. Her explanation was that the air must protect the pretzels. My response was, “Only the ones on top.” See? Not only do they have us paying more money for less product, but now we’re stuck having idiotic conversations, too. (By the way, she makes the best ginger cookies I’ve ever had. If you and I ever meet, I’ll bring you some. A full bag.

    • Wyrd Smythe

      I like your packaging principles a lot more!!

      I suppose the air might help cushion lots of bags in the box, but I’ve thought the same thing. “What about all those pretzels (or chips) that are touching the side of the bag? They get banged on just fine!” My chip bags seem to consist of 1/3 chips, 1/3 air and 1/3 pieces of chips, so absolutely the whole air protection thing is propaganda!

      • bronxboy55

        We need to add this to the list of things we’re going to fix when we’re in charge.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        You can bet your bippie on that one! I don’t have anything against lawyers, and I believe they’re necessary, so I’m not going to take Shakespeare’s advice. No, first up come all (well, most of) the bankers and brokers and politicians and other snake oil snakes.

        No, wait! First we go after the spammers and telemarketers!

        And people who talk on their cell phone while driving.

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