BB #18: Butt Heat

Brain BubbleOkay, so here’s a question that’s bothered me a long time.

If you sit in a chair for a while, stand up and then sit down again, you don’t notice anything unusual.

But if you sit in a chair that someone else was recently sitting in, the chair feels warm!

So my question is: why do you not notice your own ass heat, but you do notice the ass heat of someone else?

What’s up with that?

You know, it actually reminds me of a time long ago (college days).

partyI was at a party, a really big one. One of those that’s so packed you have to wedge through people to move around. Shoulder to shoulder, you know?

Or in this case, ass to ass.

So I’m standing in the kitchen chatting with folks when I become aware someone’s ass is pushing against mine in an almost kinda friendly way.

So I pushed back a little. After a while we were kind of subtly rubbing asses in a very casual, off-handed way.

I never did turn around, and to this day have no idea who that was.

And as I wrote this I realized it happened again many years later, although this time is was during an Oktoberfest post-outing in a local Keller bar.

tent(Oktoberfest post-outing: go to the Fest and drink the beer, eat the brats, listen to the lively polka music.  Then after they kick you out of the tent, go downstairs to the bar for some serious partying. And I assure you, for this taxi cabs or bus rides are always involved.)

Anyway, down in a packed Keller bar, same deal with the ass pushing. Only this time I knew who it was, and she was cute!  I was honored!!

But again, it was just two asses that rubbed in the night; we never spoke a word.

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

21 responses to “BB #18: Butt Heat

  • heysugarsugar

    you nutter 🙂

    • Wyrd Smythe

      Yeah, but I have fun! (Or maybe this time: “Yeah, BUTT I have fun!”)

      • heysugarsugar

        your definitely an ass man ! oh god no inappropriate conversation here babe or I will be banned from WordPress for banter 🙂

      • Wyrd Smythe

        The funny thing is I’m actually not. If I’m anything (speaking strictly physically), I guess I’m either a face man or a total-package man. I mean, all the parts are nice, but the car don’t go so well unless it’s all there, ya know?

      • heysugarsugar

        awww thats actually a nice thing to say..from a womans point of view anyway…we girls all have issues about certain parts of our bodies and always think men are looking at these parts..its nice to hear soemone say a nice face ( I guess you mean pleasant, nice attractive maybe..actually I always think the eyes in a man are a big one..eyes are the mirror to the soul) ..but its also nice to sit and spend time with someone who actually ‘likes’ us ladies and wants to have a conversation and find us and find us interesting and not just our asses ! 🙂 did I explain that well? pressing reply but I probably could have explained it better..its late in U.K. ! 🙂

      • Wyrd Smythe

        Eyes are important, for sure. I’ve heard it said that the “eyes are the window to the soul” thing is nonsense, because, well, they’re just eyes. But I’m not sure I buy that. For one thing, long-time, well-established cliches have a reason for existing; there is something there that made it become a cliche. And I think you do get clues to a person’s character when you consider what they look at, how long they look at it, whether their pupils dilate and what the small muscles around the eyes do. Even if it’s not all in the eyes, faces absolutely are a window into the soul!

        “Pleasant” and “attractive” are terms that change for everyone; I can be more specific. I tend to favor the long, narrow, angular faces. A face with cheekbones or a nose that looks like they might cut you is hugely attractive to me. Hair can be an attractor (jet black and tightly curled, mmmmmm).

        But even being “a face man” these are all just things that would be initial attractors, might make me pursue someone. Ultimately it really is what’s inside that matters. The heart and the mind. My ex- is a good example: I’d have to rate her way downscale on hair and face (so much so my mental jaw dropped slightly when we first met—to this day she has no idea about that).

        But I was already in love (we’d exchanged tons of email before we met), and I learned long ago that how you see a face changes. I thought the heart and the mind were there, and that’s what mattered (turned out I was wrong, but, hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained).

  • The Green Study

    You might want to re-visit your mating dance. Try jumping up and down and flapping your arms, like those birds that leap out of the tall grass to get a mate’s attention. Weird noises help, too. I ASS-ume that it would be more effective and less likely to get charges pressed against you.

    • Wyrd Smythe

      And you’re thinking that leaping out of the bushes would be less likely to get me arrested? (Keep in mind, both times, they started it!)

      Of course, still single, so maybe a change of tactic is required… clearly what I’ve tried so far hasn’t worked!

  • dianasschwenk

    Wow the title really grabbed my attention! I never thought about it the butt heat riddle before but maybe everybody else’s ass is hotter than mine??? Nah that can’t be it… (smiling)

    • Wyrd Smythe

      😆 And yet, this is what happens at work. I raise a serious issue for investigation and analysis, and people just laugh at me! 😕

      (Seriously (Humorously?), I’m glad you liked it!)

  • heysugarsugar

    Ahh now I think if a person does not look me in the eyes with their eyes they are dodgy ! So there eyes matter and I am a sucker for nice eyes and a nice smile and kindness a gentleman and a good sense of humor someone who can make me laugh. Btw I am the total opposite to your ideal woman ….ok naturally I am brunette but we try to forget that as I am blonde till the day I die I think ! My hair is beach wavy curls and I have a rounding face! Though admittedly my nose does lean to the Jewish ideal if it had been on my grandmothers bloodline not my grandfather’s I could be accepted into a synagogue but that’s another story ! Kindness a good heart and a sense if humor , respect and trustworthiness I guess isvwhst matters. Just on looks is shallow. Goodness babe we have some strange chats here 🙂

    • Wyrd Smythe

      Yep, eye contact! Exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. Or those who are always looking around at other things and can’t seem to focus on you.

      Of course I agree that basing anything totally on looks is hugely shallow (and not likely to pay out well in the long run). I find that appearance can add “interest points” but it rarely takes them away, if you follow. Someone being physically attractive is a wonderful bonus, but never a requirement.

      I’ve also discovered that personality can make gorgeous turn ugly very quickly for me. A good example: In Minnesota, we have a political embarrassment, named Michele Bachmann. Physically she’s not far from my zone. But her personality and politics are so reprehensible to me that they make her hideous in my eyes.

      Strange? My dear, you have a low threshold for “strange”! This is all bread-n-butter to me! 😀

      (Oh, wait… maybe that’s because I’m the strange one!)

  • heysugarsugar

    I think we mirror each other well with our mutual strangeness 😉

  • It's only P!

    Ah, is that why I feel at home here? ha ha! I’m truly twisted, eh? Anyway, I revisited this post just to tell you that I can still feel that brain twitch when you described how it feels to sit down on a chair that was just vacated by someone else’s butt.

    Even the memory of it is gross.

    • Wyrd Smythe

      You taught me that great phrase (which I’ve used several times now to lock it into my mind): “lumber from the same tree.” Such a great phrase! And such a rare occurrence in my life, but such a sweet one when it happens.

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