Author Archives: Wyrd Smythe

About Wyrd Smythe

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The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts.

BOOL or Bust

This is part five of a series celebrating the passing of BOOL, the “ship in a bottle” computer language I’ve been tinkering with for three decades. It’s a design dream, and I’ve decided to wake up.

Last time I talked about how BOOL handles data and why that was such an issue. This time I’ll ramble on about some of the other snarls that ultimately made things more complicated than I wanted. Simplicity and elegance were key design goals. I intended the run-time environment, especially, to be utterly straightforward.

Unfortunately, the behavioral design goals — the way BOOL should act at run-time — ended up in direct conflict with that.

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BOOL Pains

This is part four of a series commemorating BOOL, a computer language I started designing somewhere around 1990. After 30 years of sporadic progress, I finally gave up. There were so many contradictions and (for lack of a better word) “epicycles” in the design goals that it just wasn’t viable.

So, I’m mourning the passing of an idea that’s shared my headspace for three decades. Previously I’ve introduced BOOL and provided a tour of its basic aspects. Now I have to start talking about why it failed.

It has a lot to do with data, but that wasn’t the only issue.

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BOOL with Class

This is part three of a series mourning the death of a computer language I birthed around 1990. Now it’s turning 30, and I’ve decided it’s too old for this sort of thing. I’ve retired and now I’m retiring it (in the “sleeps with fishes” permanent retirement sense). These posts are part of a retirement party. BOOL might not be here to celebrate, but I’ll raise glasses in its honor.

First I introduced BOOL, a deliberate grotesquery, an exercise in “and now for something completely different!” Then I illustrated basic procedural programming in BOOL. This time I’ll get into the object-oriented side.

This aspect of BOOL is one of several that changed repeatedly over the years.

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BOOL World

This is part two of a series commemorating a computer language I started designing somewhere around 1990. After 30 years of tinkering, I’ve finally accepted that it’s just not meant to be, and I’m letting it go. These posts are part of that letting go process.

Last time I introduced BOOL, said a bit about what motivated it, and started laying out what made it a language only a parent could love. Later I’ll explain why things didn’t work out, but for now I’d like to tell you about what BOOL was supposed to be:

A glorious deliberate useless Frankenstein’s Monster (insert mad laughter).

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Bye-Bye BOOL

Somewhere around 1990 I started designing a programming language I named BOOL (Beginner’s Object-Oriented Language). It was always a personal “ship in a bottle” project — something more for aesthetic expression than utility. Like that guy constantly working on an old car in his garage, I’ve dabbled with it ever since.

I’ve decided to, at long last, take BOOL off life support and let it die (another dead dream). But enough of dreams. I’m tired of the weight of dreams; time to shed a pointless burden. I’ve carried it for 30 years, and I think it’s time to chalk this one up to experience.

So this is a eulogy and a memorial.

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This Is Where We Are

So it’s June 2020 in America and the level of surrealism, against all sane odds, has risen to new heights. The surrealism of Pumpkin King World these last four years turned out to be just the foothills. Then came the COVID-19 mountains and toilet paper and face-masks and social distancing, and it got more surreal. The air was getting thin, and it was hard to catch one’s breath.

Now a Minneapolis cop has murdered George Floyd, a 46-year-old black man. Justified rage has erupted, and the city is in rebellion. Protests have spread nationwide. The local counties have imposed curfews for the weekend. (Friday night, unsure how real it was, I left a friend’s house later than I should have and was technically in violation of the 8:00 PM curfew before I got home. The bright daylight of summer, the streets all but empty, it was eerie.)

The surreal mountains grew to a surreal Olympus, and there is no air left at all.

I had a series of posts set up to publish this week. Then I thought to push them off to write about this insanity. But I found myself stuck, unable to find the words. (What does an old white guy have to say that’s relevant?) So I’m letting the series publish while I watch and think. (As you’ll see, it’s a series you can easily ignore while you do your own watching and thinking.)

Stay safe and thoughtful, my friends.

Black Lives Matter!


Space Force

This is turning into a habit. Three weeks ago I binged (and loved) the entire first season of Solar Opposites (created by Justin Roiland). Two weeks ago I binged (and loved) the entire first season of Upload (created by Greg Daniels). Last week I caught up on other stuff but did watch all of the first season of Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045, although that took two evenings.

Last night I was up until after 3:00 AM watching the entire first season of Space Force, created by Steve Carrell and Greg Daniels. I very much enjoy the work of both, so I was very much looking forward to seeing this show. It may not be “the best show I’ve seen in a while,” but it kept me watching to the end.

That said, I think Upload is the smarter comedy of the two.

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Do You Darmok?

Okay, here’s one that’s been sitting in my Drafts folder since 2012. The last time I even edited it was back in 2016. (Wow. Four years already?) The problem has been turning it into a post. At this point it’s like a lazy twenty-year-old who won’t move outta the house.

If you were a serious fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation, the post’s title might ring a bell. It involves an episode with a very interesting idea about a communication problem between different species despite a “universal translator” that makes the words clear.

It isn’t a matter of language, but of metaphor.

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BB #68: Friday Bubbles

I hadn’t planned to post today, but cool things I want to memorize and share continue to accumulate (it’s worse than having to dust — that I can ignore). I already had one Holy Cow! item paired with a So Cool! item, plus another little piece of beko mochi beauty to share.

Then this morning I read an OMG, Yes!! article about actress Michelle Gomez, and then a really touching piece by musician Rosanne Cash. Lastly (technically firstly, as it was the first item added), I have a cute bit of AI research to make you smile.

So once more unto the breach, dear friends,

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Flipped Out Fans

I see them often, headlines that blare urgently: “Fans Flip Out Over _____” On the flip side, the ones that proclaim giddily: “Fans Are Thrilled About _____” The blanks differ, week to week, but the mood is always vocal eleven; outrage or delight; thumbs up or thumbs down. (As Jerry Seinfeld put it recently, it either “Sucks!” or it’s “Great!” His genius is pointing out they can be the same thing.)

For me that level of involvement in fiction is a bit alien. Even as a young Star Trek fan, I distinguished between Trekkers (the sensible sort of fan that I was) and Trekkies (those goofballs running around with Spock ears and toy phasers). Love versus obsession; appreciation versus Let’s Pretend.

What concerns me sometimes is we’re amusing ourselves to death.

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