BB #25: Orange You Glad

blue skiesAfter a seemingly endless succession of gloomy, cloudy, drizzly days, we’ve managed to pull off a couple of blue-sky, bright sunny days! Not in a row, mind you, but Friday was beautiful, and today is downright glorious! Sunday is truly earning its name today!

The Minnesota Twins, bless their hearts, even pulled off a win against the Detroit Tigers yesterday (hoping for another today). That gives them a win-loss record of 30-35, only five games below the desired .500 mark. (It’s a no-go mojo for a team to play below .500 or a batter to hit below .200 (in infamous “Mendoza Line“).)

On a day like today one can’t help but to think about oranges.

I’ve given this a great deal of thought, and I guess it could have gone two ways:

orange tree“Those round red things we’ll call apples, and those skinny things are definitely bananas, but I’m not sure what to call these round orange things!”

“Huh. Well, we already used most of the round food words. I’ve got potato left, but it doesn’t seem really potato-like to me, ya know?”

“No, I agree, let’s use potato for something else. These are round and grow on trees. We could just call them orange apples.”

“But none of the others have two names, do they? Lemons, limes, kiwis, grapes,… we even made strawberries one word! Let’s just call them “oranges” for now, we’ll think of something better later.”

“Okay, but that’s gonna drive the poets crazy!”

Or maybe it went something like…

oranges“Whacha doin?”

“Checking out that rainbow. I just love that color orange. We should do something to honor it. It’s so wonderfully orange-y. Let’s name something after it!”

“What, like your dog?”

“No, no… something more permanent. Something people will remember. I’m gonna name a fruit after it!”

“Hee, hee! That’s gonna drive the poets crazy!”

I guess the moral is: the poets get the short end of the stick every time.

And speaking of sheer poetry, I discovered recently that my best friend had never heard the notorious “knock-knock” joke about oranges.  Just in case there is anyone else in the world lacking in this important bit of education, I give you:

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?!
Banana who?!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?!!
Banana who?!!
Knock, knock.
… Who’s there!!!
?!… Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say “banana” again?

Okay, maybe a “knock-knock” joke doesn’t qualify as poetry. Here’s something else that doesn’t qualify as poetry…

HamletShakespeare once wrote about a young serial killer, name of Hamlet, who said to one of his victims, “Words, words, words.” In the same way that some people never know what words will come out of their mouths, I never know what words will come out of my brain.

I opened it last night, and this came out:

June Toon Tune

Deep beneath the noon moon dune,
Spells cast on a loon goon rune,
Heart hoping for a poon boon soon!
(I can’t work in a Yoon or Zune.)
(And no such words as Woon or Xune!)

It’s a poem about love. Well, sort of.

batphoneAnd speaking of words (words, words), my current project involves web servers, web pages, web forms, web applications and web services (“Oh what a wicked web we weave…”).

When writing documentation for the project, I often find myself thinking about the Batman’s batphone down in the batcave next to the batmobile (on the same bat-station at the same bat-time (batter up!))…

I suppose the other name for this post would be: Silly Sunday!

Sometimes ya just gotta let the silly out!

Update: edited the ending and changed the title (which also changes the URL). If this post suddenly “vanished” that’s why.  Not gone, just moved.

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

11 responses to “BB #25: Orange You Glad

  • pouringmyartout

    Thanks you much for the fine article of wich much information I have been needing is inside of. I will be sure to pay much visits and atention to all future articles of such good information. Keep up with the good hard work. And speaking of hard, I have for selling some magic pills that will make you like a tree in your soft areas. Only fifty glabotniks for a bottle that will give you much happy pants for a long time.

    • Wyrd Smythe

      Dude, be careful! You nearly activated the laser-sighted spam-seeking 50 mm cannons I’ve ringed my blog with! Ya coulda been blown to bits!!

      • pouringmyartout

        I knew the risks when I embarked upon this crusade! But thanks for not killing me.

      • Wyrd Smythe

        I managed to hit the disarm switch just in time!

      • pouringmyartout

        You are very thoughtful. I have pasted this comment into a few hundred blogs today… it is sort of a social… anti-social experiment… Right after I hit the button on one blog, I noticed the picture of the blogger… a Catholic priest. If I died today, I would be going to hell right now. It is all fun and games until someone puts their eye out…

      • Wyrd Smythe

        Sounds like fun! (The experiment, I mean, not the going to hell.) It’s a pretty good pastiche; it picks up the flavor very well. But, of course, “glabotniks” signals the gag and the laugh.

        I wonder how many people hit the [Spam] button after reading a few sentences. I almost did… you’re running your experiment during a time when WP seems to be being hit by lots of spam. I’m seeing several hundred per day, which is really high! At first I was like, “Hey, one slipped through… we’ll see about that!” But then I hit “glabotniks”!

      • pouringmyartout

        It is all about hitting the glabotniks!

  • Lady from Manila

    I’m silly glad you were in your element when you wrote this entertaining post. Still, I’m trying to convince myself your June Toon Tune is a love poem. 🙂
    Have a grand bat web workweek ahead of you.

    Batlady of the batblog

  • reocochran

    You definitely sound happy! And silly, too! Glad that things are looking up and nice to read your blog again. I have told that joke and heard that joke tons of times! Kids love it!

    • Wyrd Smythe

      It’s hard not to be happy when a “permanent weekend” is just one week away!

      (But don’t get too used to Mr. Happy Blogger… I have a lot of anger and hatred about the screwed up things in this world, and the angry, bitter observer is as much a part of the real me as is the silly joker. I try to keep them balanced, but more often than not, one or the other has the upper hand.)

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