So this morning I get up and check my work email. There’s a meeting invite from my boss, posted early this morning, for a 9:30 meeting titled “Re Org Update” and to be held in a conference room (rather than in my boss’s office).
None of that sounded good. Unexpected meeting being held immediately. Odd location. No details. I did a [Reply with Comments] to say, “Oh, oh… this doesn’t sound good,” hoping for a calming reply.
No calming reply.
So, heart pounding, I enter the conference room, and pretty much immediately know this isn’t going to go well. I see my boss and another woman, not known to me, but with that corporate air about her. She’s got one of those friendly-neutral expressions, and my boss… doesn’t look happy. He looks sad.
Long story short, my job… no longer exists. If I’m lucky, and can find myself another position in the company (in the next 45 days), I can stay. If not, so long, Charlie. And, hey, that will be just in time for my birthday!
Others had assured me, during yet another corporate shake up and “re-org”, that my position was probably secure. “You’re an SME (Subject Matter Expert),” they said. And that’s true: I’ve been working with software for 35 years and with hardware for longer than that. My skill set is current, deep, broad and by any reckoning, hugely useful. My clients love me; the work I’ve done has universally been highly regarded. On a technical capabilities level, I’m second to few.
I’m a valuable commodity!!
Yet I can see many places within our IT organization that clearly can use what I bring to the table. Why don’t they want me?
Ageism? Sure seems like. I’m beyond 55, and I’m 10 months away from a big jump in what I’d get if I retired. If I retire right now (as seems will happen), not so much (translation: company saves a bundle by dumping my ass now).
Is it personal? Possibly. I’ve never been good at holding my tongue, and I don’t suffer fools gladly, lightly or quietly. (Me and my mouth.)
It’s going to be an interesting 45 days. Right now depression, anger, fear and totally stunned shock are all vying for brain cycles. Ultimately, perhaps one way to look at this is, “Hey, way more time for blogging!”