August 18, 2015

Darth Fader

By Wyrd Smythe

I don’t often crack up over internet gags, but when I do I crack up over ones like this:

Darth Fader

As an added bonus, back in June (during their slump) I wrote a little blues tune for my Minnesota Twins…

The Bad Baseball Blues

I got the baaaad baseball blues (oh yeah).

My team’s on the schneid!

They can’t hit the ball.

I got the baaaad baseball blues (oh yeah).

I got the saaaad June swoon blues (oh yeah).

May filled us with glee.

June popped our balloon.

I got the saaaad June swoon blues (oh yeah).

When will this end.

Can we come ’round the bend?

Are stats are down.

There’s a bad buzz in town.

Such baseball news,

Gives me bad baseball blues!

I got the maaaad at Mauer blues (oh yeah).

He once caught real good.

Now his brain’s a wreck.

I got the maaaad at Mauer blues (oh yeah).

I got the raaaad Rookies blues (oh yeah).

Buxton might save us.

And Polanco might help.

I got the raaaad Rookies blues (oh yeah).

When will this end.

Can we come ’round the bend?

[instrumental break]

I got the taaaad high hopes blues (oh yeah).

At first it looked bad.

But then it looked good.

I got the taaaad high hopes blues (oh yeah).

When will this end.

Can we come ’round the bend?

Like a fly ball.

Falling short of the wall.

A pennant race,

Blowing up in our face.

I got the baaaad baseball blues (oh yeah).

[repeat and fade]

As I post this, Twins pitching is giving up another game we should have won, this time against the Yankees.

Oh, our pitching; oh, our aching pitching!

Right now 59-59 on the season, only 6-10 (.375) on the month, and 10-19 (.345) since the ASG break! ERA (starters/bullpen) is 5.84 (6.83/4.50) in August and 5.56 (5.85/5.09) since the break. WHIP is bad, too, at 1.50 (1.59/1.37) in August and 1.44 (1.47/1.39) since the break.

As a reference point, before the break, the Twins were 49-40 (.551), with a 3.81 (3.86/3.71) ERA and a 1.31 (1.33/1.28) WHIP.

About Wyrd Smythe

The canonical fool on the hill watching the sunset and the rotation of the planet and thinking what he imagines are large thoughts. View all posts by Wyrd Smythe

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2015 at 9:23 pm and tagged with Darth Vader, funny, funny images, humor, Minnesota Twins, puns, Twins 2015 and posted in From My Collection, Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

9 responses to “Darth Fader”

Wyrd Smythe
August 18th, 2015 at 9:26 pm

I wrote this Haiku back when we actually had decent pitching… you know… before the ASG break… [sigh]…

Twins are not scoring
Oddly, pitching is quite good
Fans feeling restless

Reply
dianasschwenk
August 19th, 2015 at 6:33 pm

Haha – cute Smitty. 🙂 I think you should go buy a slide guitar – your retirement calling!! ❤
Diana xo

Reply
- Wyrd Smythe
  August 20th, 2015 at 1:34 pm
  
  I do like some nice slide guitar. I was just talking to a friend about musical preferences (rock-n-roll!). I like a band with multiple guitars, multiple keyboards, multiple percussion, even some sax (’cause everyone loves sax). Slide works real well in bands like that!
  
  Reply
  - dianasschwenk
    August 20th, 2015 at 2:58 pm
    
    yeah but the trouble with music today is that there is far too much sax and violins! 😉
  - Wyrd Smythe
    August 20th, 2015 at 2:59 pm
    
    Yeah, I really hate all the violins on TV these days. Movies, too.
Hariod Brawn
August 20th, 2015 at 4:49 am

C’mon, where’s the audio clip of you singing Wyrd? Don’t be shy now.

Reply
- Wyrd Smythe
  August 20th, 2015 at 1:39 pm
  
  Oh, I let the hedgehog do all the vocals. I can’t — as they say — carry a tune in a wheelbarrow.
  
  Reply
  - rung2diotimasladder
    August 23rd, 2015 at 11:26 am
    
    Oh, but that would make it even better!
  - Wyrd Smythe
    August 23rd, 2015 at 1:24 pm
    
    Oh, but think of the children!