It’s shaping up to be a killer week. I thought my first task in the new job would involve designing a system, but it turns out much of the business process analysis hasn’t been done yet. Given a target date of December, I have my work cut out for me.
This is likely to be a light week blog-wise (and I hate to think it could actually get worse in the weeks ahead) If I post much at all, it’s likely to be fairly light, possibly pulled from my past writing or maybe even some golden oldies from the days of the USENET era.
With that in mind, here’s a set of computer haiku error messages that made the rounds back in the day. Enjoy!
Computer Errors in Haiku
| A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. |
The Web site you seek cannot be located, but endless others exist. |
| Errors have occurred. We won’t tell you where or why. Lazy programmers. |
Everything is gone; Your life’s work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? |
| Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. |
ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much. |
| First snow, then silence. This thousand-dollar screen dies so beautifully. |
With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: “My Novel” not found. |
| The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. |
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. |
| Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have a pen handy? |
No keyboard present Hit F1 to continue Zen engineering? |
| The code was willing, It considered your request, But the chips were weak. |
Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again |
| Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. |
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. |
| Server’s poor response Not quick enough for browser. Timed out, plum blossom. |
Login incorrect. Only perfect spellers may enter this system. |
| Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. |
Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. |
| You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. |
Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. |
| This site has been moved. We’d tell you where, but then we’d have to delete you. |
To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy |
| Wind catches lily Scatt’ring petals to the wind: “Segmentation fault” |
There is a chasm of carbon and silicon the software can’t bridge |
| Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped. |
Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: “File not found.” |
| Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. |
The ten thousand things How long do any persist? Netscape, too, has gone. |
| Hal, open the file Hal, open the damn file, Hal open the, please Hal |
|
∇
Logos con carne 
October 16th, 2012 at 5:43 am
computer haiku! hahaha love it. 🙂
October 16th, 2012 at 6:51 am
A little blast from the olden days of the internet (long before the web)! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I found it was fun to re-read them again, too!
October 16th, 2012 at 4:25 pm
In the early 90s we had a nucleus account for email and internet I think and you could share the cost of this account with someone else. But if the someone else was online you couldn’t get online. And then there was the whole getting on line…that high pitched screatching noise and I would just get up and get myself coffee while it tried to connect! Man that was painful!
October 16th, 2012 at 9:55 pm
😆 Ah, yes, modem handshaking! The good old days!! I remember how cool going from 300 bps to 12 bps seemed. Now it’s all on your cell phone and in streaming video. Whadda Woild!
October 16th, 2012 at 7:19 am
As I’m working off two remotes and my upgraded workstation, trying to disentangle my work environment from my personal environment, I enjoyed the picture of what looks like a laptop on fire. Maybe I’ll be posting one later of a laptop smashed with an industrial grade stapler (my personal fantasy).
Enjoyed the Haikus – thanks for the laugh.
October 16th, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Glad you liked them! I used to know a gun range where you could take stuff you hated and shoot lots of bullets at it. When I get around to replacing my POS Vaio laptop, I’d sure like to take it to a range like that! It’s the first computer I’ve owned that I’ve really, really hated (and that’s saying something, ’cause I’ve owned a lot of computers).
October 16th, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Lol! I love these
October 16th, 2012 at 10:02 pm
Haiku is great fun
Count just five, seven and five
Almost too easy
😀
October 21st, 2012 at 1:27 am
I used to make them
Up, when I was bored in school
To make people laugh! 😉
October 21st, 2012 at 9:44 am
So early in school
You were a writer of words.
Now you’re a blogger!
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:03 am
Bravo!!
October 20th, 2012 at 7:28 am
I particularly like “death, taxes and lost data!”
October 20th, 2012 at 10:05 am
There are some gems there, aren’t there!
A few are a bit outdated… Windows NT is mentioned (I could have updated that one to Windows XP) and so is Netscape (the haiku is valid, just wondering how many people even remember Netscape these days).