After watching more cable news than is actually mentally healthy, I’ve come to a number of conclusions, the most important of which is this.
If I ran for president (and why not, everyone else is), I would run on a single platform that ignores all other issues (such as ISIS, economic disparity, failing infrastructure, racial conflict, immigration, global warming, or even Zika).
My platform: No More TV Prescription Drug Ads!
How much would you bet I’d win by a landslide?
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And while I’m on a rant, what the hell is up with that weird “Sleep” creature in that (typically tedious) prescription drug ad for a witch’s brew intended to foment sleep?
For one thing, it’s literally ass backwards!
If the beginning of a word is the “front” of the word, then clearly the front of this strange beast is its ass end.
When you nuzzle its apparent “face” (where the “eyes” are literally holes in its “head”), you’re getting cozy with the back end of the word (the place where it P’s 🙂 ).
And don’t even get me started on its friend, the “Wake” creature. That one is some weird mutant life form unlike any creature found in this solar system! (Can the two mate, or do they have to find matching words?)
Logos con carne 
February 14th, 2016 at 12:39 am
Note that I didn’t feel any need to explain why that would be such a great platform…
February 16th, 2016 at 12:57 pm
Geordie barked at the “sleep” creature when he first saw it, then I guess he quickly realized it was ass backwards and decided not to pay attention to it.
I’m surprised Bernie hasn’t made this promise to abolish pill commercials. My peeve is the new Viagra commercial with the whispering woman in a tree house. I don’t know why that one annoys me so much.
February 16th, 2016 at 3:01 pm
Heh, yeah. The thing about those Viagra commercials is that most guys wouldn’t really need the pill with the actress women they cast.
March 4th, 2016 at 2:19 pm
Ever since I wrote this, I’ve kept a pad and pen handy to write down the names of the prescription drugs being sold these days. Here’s the list so far:
Aczone
Belsomra
Breo
Botox (for migraines)
Chantix
Cialis
Cosentyx
Eliquis
Harvoni
Humira
Invokana
Januvia
Lyrica
Myrbetriq
Namenda XR
Neulastra
Novartis
Otezla
Pradaxa
Prevagen
Restasis
Rexulti
Stelara
Symbicort
Tamiflu
Toujeo
Trulicity
Viagra
Victoza
Xarelto
Xifaxan
Sheeze, ma-guillicutty!
March 9th, 2016 at 10:50 am
And it’s depressing how many of them include the phrase “life-threatening” in their long, long list of possible side effects.
WTF America?
February 12th, 2018 at 4:26 pm
You’d get my vote.
February 12th, 2018 at 8:58 pm
They really suck, don’t they. Some of them are 90 seconds long, too!